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Jun. 12th, 2010 | 01:27 am
location: China, Shanghai
mood: thankfulthankful
music: 祝福

i have to admit.
you suck.
you really do suck big time.
but you do not know
that is the sad part.

now i found a bunch of fake people around me.
here in shanghai.
only a handful remain real.
seriously real,
like how real love feels like when you hug your mum.

dad once said
"when you have nowhere to turn to, family is forever there to help"

i understood this the first time i heard it,
i realize it the first time i felt desperate,
i cherish it now.

mummy gave me more than anyone else could.
she gave her youth, her health, her everything,
for me.
she is selfless, i am selfish.

love mummy and daddy.
i promise to never hurt you two ever again,
and never allow anyone to hurt you.

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Jun. 5th, 2010 | 01:31 am
mood: depresseddepressed
music: The Islander

Beginning to hate being here in shanghai.
not that shanghai sucks.
but i hate how i left everything behind just like that.
and i feel sad that i thought it was gonna be easy to give up.
how i wish for the one chance to have dinner with everyone now.

I still miss you.
wonder how are you now.
i always have alot to say to you.
but i always think it is aint important
how wrong i was.

just spent close to S$200 on calvin klein underwear.
wtf was i thinking.

no one is better than you.

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hanging up and the beeping

May. 23rd, 2010 | 03:23 am
mood: sadsad
music: this love, this hate

i miss u ahkong,
knowing you wont be there when i get back,
it just breaks my heart,
i didnt get to say goodbye.

daddy said you cried,
when i gave u that band i got from thailand,
i cried too at night,
wondering why you had to suffer so much.

it is almost a month,
but i am still not getting over you,
i cant cry anymore,
cos i promised i wont,
i cant shout or scream,
cos i have nowhere to,
i am going to break soon,
cos the pain i am feeling,
i never felt before.

why should others be blessed,
which they dun earn,
when you get all this shit,
you do not deserve,
you hung on for so long,
just to prove u will not give in,
to what fate has set.

i will never get over you,
i love you too much,
they can say i am mentally weak,
i will only say,
wait for your turn,
dun say your grandparents died before,
and you got over it quickly,
and how i suck at acceptance;
compare with someone,
who u equally love,
as i did to him.


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Apr. 20th, 2010 | 12:20 am
mood: amusedamused

Pros of Shanghai:
  • motherfucking cheap food
  • mother-cheebye good transport system
  • great scenary
  • powderful chinese speaking people
  • can anyhow spit
  • can talk damn loud
  • good translation skills. NOT
  • jokes are everywhere
Cons of Shanghai
  • food too cheap.
  • will get fat easily
  • service quality sucks
  • lots of fog
  • chinese too cheem for foreigners
  • spit too much everywhere
  • talk too damn loud and fast.
  • translation skills confuse foreigners
  • too much jokes = laugh too much = seem like retard
  • the idealogy of half do half dun do is everywhere.
  • bus stops are far and in between.
  • china ppl look ridiculously lost.
I miss singapore and the way we live. China is too big to explore.

Oh ya. Fuck whoever that says Shanghai is more urban than Singapore. U should come pudong avenue. -.-

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Apr. 19th, 2010 | 10:24 am

First post from Shanghai.

First few days cold like cock
everything was cock cos of the cold
but the hostel not cock.

Shanghainese have no regard for traffic lights, but their priority is still the pedestrians, apparently they drive way below the speed limit just to avoid them. Love the magnimity here.

Kns my ang moh deprove alot i think. stupid 5 days and i speak chinese with words that only chinareans use.

eh how much is magnum in Singapore. S$3.60?
Shanghai sell them for 3.00RMB.

eh i exam starting
typing on exam computer.

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so do i.

Apr. 8th, 2010 | 12:21 am
mood: coldcold

The best present for me is that they do not split up during my stint in shanghai.
Call me paranoid, yes.
But are you really lying to yourself that everything wont change?
Look at everyone, ITS FUCKING TWO GROUPS. its damn obivious.

No one plans anything for other peep's bday.
Need to wait for me start then they will.

Seriously no initiative and no organizational skills


wan list who got what to do?
and compare see who got more things.

This is a nice wake up call for me.
I might not return to dreamland.

deja vu. i wrote a post similar to this sometime ago.
fucking nowhere to vent.
so i rant here lor.

this is it for me.
i shall help plan this last one.
and i wash my hands of all this for 7 mths.

this is the motherfucking last time.

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Feb. 2nd, 2010 | 02:16 am
mood: cheerfulcheerful

cy is coming.
gotta shop soon.
but the guys like not free one.
how sia.

die die die.

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(no subject)

Jan. 28th, 2010 | 12:51 am
mood: pensivepensive

what if i went for dance instead of kitchen.

did i miss out.

guess i did and i didnt
the cliche.

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me and you two.

Jan. 21st, 2010 | 12:52 am
mood: okayokay

not been posting for very long.
*clears off dust*

Dear daddy and mummy.

I love you.
I love you because I am here
I love you because I have two hands, two legs, two eyes, two ears, a nose, a mouth, a brain, a heart, so on.
I love you because I am happy
I love you because I will never ever regret what I did
I love you because I am able to decide for myself
I love you because I am able to empathize with others
I love you because I am able to give love
I love you because I am able to teach others
I love you because I am able to learn
I love you because I am able to be there for people
I love you because I am able to be who I am
I love you because I can cook
I love you because I have a proper home
I love you because I have a proper bed
I love you because I have a proper computer
I love you because of EVERYTHING that you gave me.

I love you because you did not buy me that transformers or pokemon to teach me having what you want does not solve everything.
I love you because you let me go home by myself everyday since primary 5 to teach me what it is like to be independant.
I love you because you force me to wash my own shoes since primary 5 to teach me how hard you wash when my shoes were dirty
I love you because you caned me countless times till my whole buttock was blue black and the plastic feather duster broke, was to teach me how to be a good boy
I love you because you applied cream on my buttocks when i was sleeping after you caned me.
I love you because you cycled me to tuition, to school through kindergarten and primary school 1-3, even though you werent strong, was to teach me what love can do.
I love you because you always talk to me when u cycle, not to keep me from being bored, it was to not let me know you were panting from my weight.
I love you because you did not let me watch television for 4 weeks before my exams to teach me priority
I love you because you tried to make proper meals for us everyday, even though i complained that it doesnt taste good.
I love you because our house is always neat and tidy even though we messed it up everyday.
I love you because you never gave up on me even though how rude i was and how much bad i did.
I love you because you spent much more than you could on me, and you scrimped and saved without spending on yourself
I love you because you nag and scold me for all the little things i do.
I love you for all the other countless things you did, times you stood up for me, times you gave a shit about me, and
Times that that you didnt give up on me.

I love you
simply for,
you did not fufill you own aspiration,
so that we could have a stable life,
I love you for working so hard, for going through so much hardship at work,
to give us 3 meals a day, a proper education and a proper home.
I love you for supporting us for whatever decisions we make and all that we are now.

I am sorry and ashamed, for the times that i felt embarrassed by my own parents.
Now i am not.
love you two.

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Jan. 6th, 2010 | 02:21 am
mood: cheerfulcheerful

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