meepmeep

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/lax/483318927.html

go to the link and read it.

being too nice will not give you good returns.
its a fact of life.

when they smile, it makes you wonder if they are really being true as friends
or they just want to please you, so that they can benefit.

i can see
not our common perception of the ability to see
but what is really behind those eyes of yours.

i can dream
not our normal dreams of faux-reality.
but things that do come true.

call me a fuck-up weirdo.
but whats there to hide from me
unless yours is a malicious intent.

you may have good social skills.
sucking up to people
without over-doing it.
reaping benefits in return.

it is not a bad thing to do, no is it good.
when you turn ur sucking-machine on,
i will smile,
but i wont buy it.

i only help those that are worth.
freaking risking my credibility,
so that you will have someone,
you can turn to
when you are in dire straits.

so please do not complain,
please do not spite me,
when i do not help.

its you who needs some soul-searching
do you give without taking.

hey ded, dis post is for you, thanks alot for the great help you gave me.
you can say its nothing,
but i really appreciate it,
love and respect.

feelings.

been a month. didnt realise.
cheers :)

quite frustrated now.
haha!

i shall update more.
but i srsly have nothing to say.

nothing i say here mattered anyway.
its just a random ranting site.
solves nothing.
but might make another person frustrated too.
wats the point.



CHEERS TO!!!!!
Moscato d'Asti

your ideology of life.
your way of living
your perspective of success
your whole mantra of what this world means and what you should do.

FOR FUCK'S SAKE
ITS *YOUR*
NOT *EVERYONE*
NOT UNIVERSAL ACCEPTANCE.

i live my life the way i want.
i want to be a chef.
i believe i am capable.
i want to ...

whatever it is. YOU being who YOU are.
STOP determining what is RIGHT OR WRONG for OTHERS.

however much you want a say in my life,
i make the final decision,
cos apprently,
ITS MY OWN LIFE.

you do not decide my death
you do not decide who i marry
you do not decide my FUCKING SEX.

You can give opinions,
You can give your 'sound' advice
You can try with all your might to persuade.

in the end,
its my mind and body,
my own soul.
i have the freedom
i have the basic human rights to choose

If you are too shallow to accept,
then i pray for your eyes to be opened.
for the blind see more than you do.

chalet over.
wasnt what i expected.
good and bad both.

stupid really.
made me hate more ppl in my course

but i also got a bunch who i can rely on.
thanks nigel, jenson, joel, mathew, jeremy, kelana.
thanks sunny too for helping me loads.
learnt alot.

and well.
im not gonna provide myself with excuses as to why you are like that.
not gonna.
im gonna take action.

pissed srsly.
damn pissed.

working crazily for the past two weeks.
11 hours everyday.
friday n saturday off
used to chiong outside.
pub, lepak, shop, pub, lepak, movie, shop.

around one more week to thailand.
22-25
gonna be fun.
street food and my fav dessert.
RED RUBY.
where best to try a specialty but the origin itself.

been planning for course chalet too.
hell load of phone calls, sms and stress.
haha!
will be fun.
drink, laugh, drink, laugh, drink, laugh, drink, laugh, drink.    puke.

how the toot will i pack my bag for thai when i am working the two days b4 the trip.
somemore doing closing.
reach home 1am.
power la dey.

infected leg btw.
dunno what happen.
now swollen like
PWHAR LAO EH.
WHERES MY LEG. DIS IS NOT MY LEG. MY LEG IS NOT TER KA.
WHO KOPE AND TRADED MY LEG?
TRADE ALSO NEED ME TEACH ARH
TRADE GOLD LEG LA.
WHY TER KA.
WAH LAO EHHHHHH
IM WORTH MORE THAN A PIG.

wear skinnies also pain.
sick joke.
its srsly funny to me
but how to say leh.
er...
its like too funny to laugh at u knw.

SICK BASTARDS.
I WILL GET BACK MY LEG.
meep

gtg sleep ler.
tmr work 9am to 11pm
WAHAHA
die.
another sick joke.

dis is afiq the dancing queen.
The Beyonce of CCM!!!

™Afweak™ says:
i can sing well.
gladwin says:
eh u knw today i ate mos burger.
™Afweak™ says:
i still sing well.
gladwin says:
i drank grape soda.
™Afweak™ says:
ppl call me beyonce.
gladwin says:
den i puked.
gladwin says:
pun intended
™Afweak™ says:
beyonce called me her name.
gladwin says:
i saw a fish.
gladwin says:
huge man.
™Afweak™ says:
my huge voice/
gladwin says:
WA
gladwin says:
spiderman

 i feel it coming

it happens

i cry.

its not something i want.
its not.
u fucker
take it back
i want my free will.
i dun wan ur fate.

I DUN FUCKING WANT IT.

U assholes
u think its cool
"oh wow he can feel it coming"
FUCK U

until you all have been me.
u wont understand
the pain.

u wan this so called "gift"
u take it
god-willing
u have it.

i do not want to live the rest of my life with it.
the people i lost even with seeing it coming.
its just heart rending.
to see them go
when they might not.

tears.

well.
im back to happy me!
thought about it last night.
i still hold you all in an important place within me.

dun mind what u all do.
u guys did not mean no harm anyway
its just the way things turn out.
something is trying to destroy what we did for 6 years.

looking forward to monday outing! post-national day celebration

cheers!

yawns to what u say
yawns to what u do
yawns to what u think

im waiting.
jus waiting to see how u explain dis.

lalala~~

woah 1 week plus already.

still waiting.

lets see if anyone can be direct and honest without resorting to "abstract" means to explain.

im starting to pity instead of being angry at u all.

dun get angry at me for saying all this.
cos it was u all
who started it all.

i wonder what have happened after so long.
the understanding and trust.

You guys try to have fun by joking constantly.
yea its nice to laugh when we are together.
but do you all know the limit?

imagine going out with you all
and the joke is constantly being targeted at one person.
as what you all have been doing, u all never ever did try to put yourself in other shoes.
that, i attribute to being selfish.

yea jus plain downright selfish.

wan argue wid me for calling you all selfish?

do you all give EVEN with knowing that you will not benefit at all?
and even might lose more by giving?

do you?

i am always the joke.
always.
i dun mind it sometimes.
but always is too much.

You guys take it so far that the jokes involve betraying my trust completely.
why is that so.
is it because you guys feel that my unbending trust is something that seem funny?
well,
then you have to pat yourself on ur back and congratulate yourself for being a 18 year old kid.

i dun question you guys much.
cos 6 years to me is long enuff for such trust.

jokes aimed to laugh at me
ridicule me
based on trust.

karma will find you all.
im not cursing
im reminding.
karma has always been there even without me mentioning.
you guys should know, since you all believe in it.

i did so much for you all.
now is the time for me to stop.
the next birthday.
i will not do anything
I SHALL SEE
WHEN YOU ALL RMB TO START PLANNING.

fuck it.

the previous person's birthday.
i nvr say anything.
no one acted.
i said pass me money the week before.
no one did it on his own accord.
only when i asked for it
3 days before the date.
then everyone arranged to meet.
in the end.
no one could pay till the day itself.

nice.

FUCKING NO INITIATIVE
thats why, ahem*
pardon me for saying
i can handle 10 times the stress u all got.

wah seh

a few projects due nia, den become headless chicken

i had to hand in 4 projects in one week,
go out every night
sleep for 3 hours a day.
and i got B and A for the reports.

wtf?

the diff between you and me.

and the simple understanding of trust.
you want to fool around with it.
dun make me lose faith.
once i do.
you will regret.
one chance

u want to irritate me?
scare me?
harm me?
tell me something?

im getting really scared okay
get lost please
u are there for like
4 months already

tell me what you want please
dun jus stand there
and look at me
i scream for u to get lost
but you come back always

if you are from hell
then fucking jus take me wid u
i dun care
im already prepared.
jus take me and be done with it
dun torment me.

if you are here to tell me something
TELL ME ALREADY
i will listen
please

u are not part of me
get lost please.

hold those moments dear for they will be gone.

had a REALLY FREAKING FUN DAY.
wahaha.
sry wenyuan for the minor cock up over the time.
meep
but nvm la hor, u have fun can liao.

finally got to make wenyuan damn embarrassed.
wahaha, red red red red red red face.
wooooots

and the guys did something damn tard to me at dedrick's house.
im freaking tormented.
omg...dey actually were dat asshole.

neeway im gonna start planning for the next two person's bday liao.
jazli and chuan chuan
celebrating both together.
wahaha

dey
are
so
gonna
die.
esp jazli.

hey jaz u reading dis? U WILL DIE GET IT?
U WILL I SWOMPA.

need a damn good plan else cannot topple that one heck of a mountain.

okies gtg.
忠 心 18pang.

lol. sound like gang.

i am near breaking point already.

like tiong said to me before "ler arh, xim ka hou"

i am not trying to praise myself by saying this but am i being too kind.
i am very friendly towards people,
being soft-hearted i do forgive,
unless you did something which directs your hate towards me,
i will change.

im sure everyone do have two sides,
a nice goody goody personality
and a super bastard/bitch.

i have both, but my bastard/bitch side,
is not something to joke about.
people have ended up in certain places cos they crossed the wrong me.
not gonna elaborate, im sure you are smart :)

why is it that i am always the one giving in, and you are the one getting it?
why.
is it because i am a lesser mortal while you are a god?
maybe?
is it because you think i cant make wise decisions?
maybe.
is it because i am just simply too nice to force my way through.
well, maybe.

i have had enough, i sacrificed so much for everyone to be happy,
I SAID IN MANY PREVIOUS POSTS THAT I WILL STOP.
but i just cant.

ah bu and daddy taught me to always be good to others and what karma is.

i listened, apparently i am taking it too far.

i always end up cornered and i really do not know what to do.
no one wans to help.
and i kept silent, waiting for someone to offer their hand.
everyone just asked me, how now?

LIKE I FUCKING KNOW, THE CATCH IS, THE PROBLEM LIES WITH YOU ALL, NOT ME, I ALREADY AGREED TO EVERYTHING.
BUT ITS YOU ALL, WHO WONT BUDGE.

People i meet outside say i look older den 18.
WHY
U TELL ME WHY?
ITS COS OF THE STRESS.

you people ask why whenever i walk alone, i always have a stern face, some even say i have chao bin.
ITS COS OF THE STRESS.
I ONLY SMILED WITH YOU ALL COS I DO NOT WANT TO SHOW IT

i cant even have a good nights sleep since 2 years ago and its getting worse.
i already have half a mind to see specialists for my insomnia.

please dont make me hate you all.
please.
i have enough, i just want to sleep

swallow this pill
it will be bitter
but you would feel better.

well, fuck, i swallowed that pill, endured that bitter, but where is the better you promised me.

you all promised me a lie.
3 years but it aint getting better.
now im in a deeper shit than before.
i cant get out of it.
I CANT

is giving up my freedom the only way out.
at the same time destroying my entire life.


now i know why people say certain things they did,
to protect me.



well sry for dis. i jus needed to get it out of me.

"You may have noticed that this week I have not uploaded lecture notes. In the interest of improving your note taking skills during lecture I will no longer be uploading lecture notes for the rest of the semester. "

this message was posted on skol website today

2 weeks ago, she told us that lecture was not compulsory starting from that week.

I attributed this change to the fact that we were all busy with the competition and other project.
We would still benefit from the lecture notes posted online if we did not go to the lecture itself.
However those who attend the lecture will get extra information.
As such i chose not to go due to the extra information being CRAP.

Now, she decided not to post anymore lecture notes online.
Is this not the same as making the lecture compulsory?

wtf is wrong with some people?

i have had enough.
IMAGINE a lecturer speaking like a MINISTER.

WTF?

go around the bush just to sidetrack the question,
blatantly avoiding all logic and try to prove us wrong.
coming up with crap such as "In the interest of improving your note taking skills"


wow, i dunno how to take notes la?


let me show u.

chef says "i wan the milk added then the sugar, then the vanilla extract, stir it and bring to a boil"

THIS IS HOW I TAKE NOTES YOU INSIPID HIGHER MORTAL.

1.milk
2. sugar
3. vanilla extract, stir
4. boil.

SIMPLE IS IT NOT?

lets ask any primary 5 school kid if he understands this.
GO LA.

dis is why i hate people who speak as if they got a slang when they are so low in EQ.
make them look like clowns putting on a show.

HEY I SAW A BLACK RHINO AT THE ZOO!!!
never see b4 leh.
u all should go see.

some people are just so funny.

fun day with them.
very fun

cant say how much i wanna thank you guys for all that you all did for me.
6 years together.
very touched.

cya all.

ps: eh guys, mediacorp welcomes talent

fuck u for caring about yourself only.

In my shoes, just to see, what it's like to be me.

i dun really like rap except for two songs by eminem.
"SIng For The Moment" and dis song above 'Beautiful"

"Ya know a song is powerful when people who are not a fan of the genre, love it " - a comment on youtube.

very true.

oh ya the video above is not the official one being released yet.
i think its the leaked version.

well all things aside,
no one can understand what i am going through now.
im facing a decision which can affect my life totally.
not something that i can speak about to everyone.
i cant go around "hey what u think i should do?"
its more of "hey u, fuck off cos u wont understand"

those 9 guys.
i asked constantly for opinions.
apparently their suggestions were revolving around "themselves"
always the same word, same answer, same look at me.
and they change topic with such speed that would make Flash jealous
even if i say that no one would understand another person's feeling
till they walk in their shoes.
wont their suggestions be much better if they even try n imagine?
mentally put themselves in my shoes and think.
think before the same fucking word comes out.
well,
u can say,
"what can they say?, you just want them to say something that is same as what u feel"
if u feel like this,
then you do not know me.
why i can say that you do not know me?
cos you did not walk in my shoes before, ever.

so what in my own opinion do i think i should do.
i do not know.
so in my opinion what i should do so that i can best benefit from it
i do not know.
draw lots?
fuck luck.

i promised the guys i would find a solution that would best benefit everyone.
closest to the 9 of them.
and they cant even help me decide
what fuck is dis.
i dun blame them for not being able to help.
but do they even try.



i'll be you, let's trade shoes, just to see what it'b like to